Sunday, April 26, 2009

On an Army of Mud-Coated Chimpanzees

It is important to emphasize the fact that this army consists of chimpanzees. Not monkeys, as many people seem to believe. Chimpanzees are far more effective. They are bigger and stronger, listen to what you are saying, and don’t try steal your biscuits. But that's not important, even though I did introduce it as so. The important thing is that they need to be rolled through mud first. Rolled through as thoroughly as possible.

The mud covering is for camouflage, and it is one of the best there is. Think about it. You have absolutely no chance of identifying a mud covered chimpanzee in an army of mud covered chimpanzees. They will be invisible… Those South American countries won’t even know what has hit them until it’s too late. And even then, they will only understand half of it.

Because if they can’t spot an entire army of mud-covered chimpanzees, then what chance do they stand of seeing the three tortoises that sneak in from the side. Midget tortoises armed with balls of socks and slices of moldy cheese. They will have lost before the battle even begins.
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