Sunday, August 30, 2009

On Stupid Parents


A child walked past earlier wearing shoes which let off a high pitched squeak with each step. From what I could see, the shoes had been designed to do that. I was only exposed to the noise for thirty seconds, and it normally takes a lot to annoy me, but it was driving me crazy.

Presumably, the parents bought these shoes, thinking “Wow! These are cute!” with out thinking of the consequences. They would have given the shoes one or two experimental squeaks before buying them, and smiled at their daughter’s squeals of delight at the noise.

Embarrassingly enough, while I was typing about it, the parents walked in, this time carrying the child. They passed the child between each other, but despite the child’s obvious demands to be put down, they wouldn’t let it go.

I hope they’ve learnt that there’s more to life than making the child “cute”. Hopefully they’ll remember next time that they actually have to live with it.
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On Hydro-Processed Nanocheese


Which seems like a mouthful at first, and it is. A mouthful of hydro-processed nanocheese, as long as that’s what’s in your mouth, and your mouth is full of it. If not, then it’s not a mouthful, is it? If I haven’t lost you (although I think I just might have), then I’ll try moving faster, taking sharper corners, and being slightly less predictable. The problem with driving like that, however, is an accident is more likely to happen. And no one likes an accident, especially if it’s a puppy that’s had an accident on the carpet. Especially if it’s your carpet. Even more especially so if you were the one who accidentally trod it in.

If I have lost you, then I recommend that you learn to read a map. Or buy a GPS, and you’ll be able to make your own way there without having to follow me. I’m not the easiest person to follow at times. I move fast and take the long route; the obscure route.

(On a side note: Or more just an example than a side note, but I like side notes, so I’m going to call it one. Two weeks ago, I was driving somewhere, and I was stopped at a robot*. A flashing green arrow came on telling me to turn left, so I did, even though my destination was straight ahead of me. The road brought me along side a golf course. I then saw a bridge off to the side, and decided to cross it. Ten minutes later, I was driving along a ridge with one of the best views of the city I’d ever seen. I wasn’t lost, because I could see where I needed to be. I just took twenty minutes longer to get there.)

(* On another side note for any non-South African that might read this: robot refers to a traffic light. This reminds me of my second year applied mechanics lecturer (a mostly deaf Indian, who had studied engineering in Canada), who, in our first lecture, recalled hearing a traffic report after his first arrival in South Africa. The report had said “Robots are out at several intersections, causing chaos in the traffic.” My lecturer had then said, in an accent not too dissimilar from Apu (from The Simpsons), “This is a very technologically advanced country.” The confusion lies in the technical definition of a robot. Foreigners, think of a robot as an automated machine which replaces a human function, and not a traffic light. But a traffic light is a robot. The human function is a traffic cop directing the traffic at the intersection.)

See? I like taking the long way. Have I lost you yet? Learn to read a map.

The problem with a map or GPS is that you have to know your destination, and maybe you don’t, which is why it’s important that you follow me. There is no reason for you not to know where we are going, since I think I made that quite clear from the start. The moment I typed “On Hydro-Processed Nanocheese”, in fact. The fact that I still haven’t gotten there is just more proof that I like taking the scenic route.

Enough of that nonsense. It’s time that this thing got somewhere.

“Washed” is a word that should be used with caution. It’s a simple, but powerful word that implies hard work resulting in a general cleanliness. Some people use it too casually, when they really mean “rinsed”. Then you hear those that talk about being washed in a river. In most rivers nowadays, the cleanliness implied by the word “washed” is a lie. In this case, “rinsed” is not a suitable word either, since it doesn’t convey the scrubbing and soap that went into the whole business. That is why I prefer the term “hydro-processed”. It implies nothing except that it involves some process (which may involve as little as one action), and that, somewhere along the line, it makes use of water. In other words, it means the same as “washed”, just without the implicit cleanliness. It’s definitely a better word, especially when used in conjunction with cheese, which contains several types of bacteria. (A lot of people take the word “clean” to mean the absence of bacteria, although a better term for this would be “very, very dead for a very, very long time”).

On the topic of cheese, micro cheese refers to grated cheese (in the vast world inside my head, which may vary slightly from the outside world you may be familiar with). Nanocheese is simply really finely grated cheese, or powdered cheese. The way parmesan cheese is grated. It’s quite simple really.

So, hydro-processed nanocheese is simply really finely grated cheese that has been rinsed in water. It probably tastes all watery, so I wouldn’t recommend it. Anyway, it all sounds like far too much effort to me. If you want cheese, its probably easier to have it straight.
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On Libraries


The university recently changed the library system. Not really – it’s still the same system, but they have made changes to how it is accessed. Previously, there were several computers, logged on to the university’s intranet, with a search page open for so that anyone could simply type in a couple of keywords, click search, and would be given a list of books, showing whether these books were available or not, and if they were, then where they could be found. If you knew what you were looking for, it took less than thirty seconds to find the book.

The new system uses the same computers and the same intranet site. The catch is that the computers are not logged on. Each student has a username and password, and must log on to the computer. They then need to wait while the operating system loads up, and then open the internet browser. They then need to type in the address of the search site, and wait for that to load. Only then can they search for the book. The whole process only takes a couple of minutes, but it’s still four times longer than the old system.

I’m glad I don’t have to go through third year with that system. I remember running to the library during a tea break, since lectures ran from eight to five – the only time the library was open. I typed in a couple of keywords to find a general range of shelf numbers, and grabbed four or five random books with relevant titles, so that I could page through them at home that evening. I feel sorry for all future generations of third years…

The idea must have been put in their heads by the penguins.
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On Penguins: Part II


Actually, not on penguins at all. A couple of my friends just got back from a holiday in Ireland. They bought me a t-shirt. I'm posting this, not only because it's an awesome t-shirt, but because they're awesome friends. Thanks.

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Sunday, August 23, 2009

On Dreams


I had a dream last night. As usual, I remember hardly any of it. In the dream, I was sitting at a wooden table late one afternoon, eating KFC. What I do remember is a turtle swooping out of the sky, grabbing my breakfast in its talons, and then gliding onto a brick path. That was mid morning. It then went into some sort of spasm, and I realized it was trying to climb out of its shell. It got out, and then began a dance on the grass in the dark, waving the steak it had stolen from me as if to say in the singsong way a five year old would, “I’ve got ice-cream, and you don’t”. There was no moon in the sky - only stars, and I could only see it dancing because of the headlights of the car I was sitting in. I know it was a turtle and not a tortoise because it had flippers.

They say that dreams are a reflection of your concerns in real life. Another theory is that they merely reveal your concerns. Others say it reveals the future. Yet more people say it is merely your mind trying to make sense of your experiences in life.

All I say is that I hope that dream has nothing to do with real life, and was just my messed up imagination leaking into my sleep. I really hope that isn’t what the future holds. My mind is too inconsistent to hold that sort of responsibility, not to mention that I don’t like having my food stolen by flying turtles.

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On Chairs


Not the rabid laminated plastic kind. Not even the four legged kind (or one, three, five or six legged kinds). This is on the two legged kind that oversees a meeting, or a debate, or presentations, or that sort of thing. (Admittedly, the number of legs may be any non-negative integer less than or equal to two, depending on the number and nature of industrial/recreational/motor vehicle accidents the bearer of these legs has been involved in. It may even be more than two, if one considers birth defects. However, they are generally two legged.)

Calling a person a chair is a bit insulting. A chair is a pretty simple thing. It has no thoughts of its own and no personality. I would not like to be called a chair. Why, then, is it customary to call people Mr. or Madame Chair? Why can we not just use their real names like sensible people?

Or can we at least show some respect and call them Mr. Luxury Sofa.

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On Graduate Recruitment


Sometimes, everything you have to say can be expressed in a single graph.


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Sunday, August 16, 2009

On DotA


Pronounced “dot ay”. Before I get the scrawny pale fanboys bashing down my door, wanting to kill me, I’d like to point out the spelling is 'DotA'. Note the capitalisation of the ‘A’ and not the ‘o’ and the ‘t’. If it was supposed to be pronounced ‘doter’, as so many think it should, then it would been spelt with a small ‘a’. If you like to use the argument that it is an abbreviation, and so the 'A' should be a capital letter, then I applaud you. That is correct, and so the correct spelling is ‘DOTA’ which would be pronounce “dee, oh, tea, ay”. Of course, the ‘o’ and ‘t’ stand for ‘of’ and ‘the’, which are customarily not capitalised in a title, so why should they be capitalised in the abbreviation? I should point out that these words are customarily left out of abbreviations. So, DotA should be correctly abbreviated ‘DA’. If you wish to pronounce that as a single word, then it would be pronounced ‘duh’.

However, those that came up with the name decided to spell it ‘DotA’, and so the correct pronunciation is “dot ay”. I understand that that may not be what was intended, but I’m sorry. You can’t just change the rules of a language to suit yourself.

(On a side note: Yes, the song does pronounce it 'doter', but they're not singing in English, are they?)
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On the Danger of Eating Utensils


My mom used to tell me all the time. Still does, occasionally. “Don’t put your knife in your mouth. You’ll cut your tongue off.” It’s a stupid thing to say. The knife’s barely sharp enough to cut the food, and I’m not stupid enough to run the blade along my tongue. In all my years of eating, I have never injured myself with a knife (at least, not in my mouth).

The fork is a different matter. No one ever warns you about the fork. The knife has a single slightly sharp edge. The fork has four sharp points. It’s far easier to hurt yourself with a fork than with a knife.

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On Itchy Feet


Is it impolite to take off a shoe and sock in public and scratch? What is the accepted way of dealing with this problem? If it is acceptable to just take off your shoe, then why don’t you see people everywhere taking off their shoes in the middle of shopping centres? Why has no one written a formal guide on what to do in annoying situations? Why is every single sentence in this a question? Aren’t there any answers?

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On Dealing with a Giant Turtle Biting Your Arm


Like any engineering problem, the first thing you need to consider is the relationships between everything involved. The first relationship is that between the turtle and the arm. These two are connected through the act of biting. The second relationship is that between yourself and the arm. This is in the form of ownership. A second relationship may or may not exist between you and the arm, depend on whether it is still attached to you or not.

If your arm has become detached, there is no need to deal with the turtle. Your problem is solved, and the best course of action is to leave before the turtle gets bored and decides it needs something else to chew. It’s best not to scream either, or do anything to attract attention to yourself. Just leave quietly, and then seek medical attention from someone with the appropriate qualifications (i.e. not me), and start learning to tie your shoe laces with one hand.

If your arm is still attached, but you are in enough pain/shock/panic to consider allowing it to become detached, then you may remove your arm by your preferred means (or allow the turtle to do it for you). The problem is now reverts to the first case.

If your arm is still attached, and you would prefer it to stay that way, then the problem is somewhat less trivial. The solution mostly depends on how big the turtle is. I am talking about a giant turtle here, so if you are dealing with an ordinary turtle, my recommendation is to try Google (or Yahoo, or Bing, if you so prefer) for some other solution, because the solutions given here have not been tested with conventionally sized turtles, and cannot be guaranteed. (They actually haven’t been tested with any turtles, but that’s not the point.)

If the turtle is massive (i.e. with a significant gravitational pull when compared to, say, a typical planet), it’s your own fault. You should have seen it coming and moved your arm out of the way. Your arm is gone, and there’s not much you can do. It’s not too serious though, because it’s unlikely that the turtle can see you, so you should just get out of the way of its next bite. Dodge its head, and its own gravitational pull should send you into orbit. It’ll be a few hours at least before you come round to its head again. If you are smart, you will set your trajectory to land on its tail. Don’t attempt to land anywhere else, unless you have a parachute, or some other means to control your decent. (The turtle must have its own atmosphere in order to protect itself from cosmic radiation, so a parachute should more or less work.)

If the turtle is simply big (i.e. in the order of tens to hundreds of kilometers in diameter), there is no need to deal with the turtle. It will be killed by cosmic radiation in a matter of minutes. (Even if its on a planet, it will stick out too much to benefit from the atmosphere, and it’s just too small to hold an atmosphere of its own.) You just need to worry about the fall back to the ground. There is not much you can do if the turtle does not let go of your arm as it dies.

If the turtle is big enough that the width of its head exceeds the length of your arm, there is still not much you can do about your arm. Punching the turtle may not have much effect, depending on the size of the turtle. It is still worth a try. You may have to remove your arm as in the second case above, and then maintain the maximum possible distance between the turtle and yourself.

If the turtle weighs more than, say, 40 kg, it will be unwise to anger it. It is best not to try hitting it, since it is likely to bite harder. The best way to deal with it is to coax it off with something else. It’s more likely to be attracted by something strong smelling. The choice in substance is largely determined by what is readily available, but it may be a good idea to choose something that will wash off easily. The turtle may seem like a serious problem at the time, but a hand that smells of rotten fish for the rest off your life may be slightly less desirable in the long term.

If the turtle is light enough that you can lift it, the temptation is to smash its head against a rock (there, I’ve now used that word). It is important to fight this urge, and not do it. The turtle will let go just before the impact, and you will look like an idiot when you smash your arm against the rock. It may also hurt. The best course of action is the strong smelling substance as above.

And if the turtle has been trained in ninjutsu by a similarly giant sewer-dwelling rat, can you please get me an autograph while its there.
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On a More Serious Note


Who ever it is who's responsible for that damned DDOS attack on twitter, Facebook and Blogger needs to come here to get my shoe up their backside. But of course, you're not going to take the time to read my blog, are you? May rodent insects gnaw your eyes and fish infested rabbits chew out your stomach. You wasted a full two minutes of my valuable being bored time this morning. I hope you're going to pay me back for that...
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On Automated Responses


“Your debit orders for the last two months have been denied due to ‘ACCOUNT HOLDER DECEASED’. You are hereby warned that if this occurs again next month, you account with us will be closed, and your name will be blacklisted permanently.”

No further comment required…

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Thursday, August 13, 2009

On Penguins


Someone else shares my views on the bastards. They're just another organised cult, but one that we should be really worried about.
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Sunday, August 9, 2009

On Selling Stuff


Especially selling stuff that no one would ever need. The salesman will always be vague about what he is selling, and tell a long story first. The reason for this is simple. He's got a job to do, and that is to try selling his merchandise. He doesn't have to actually sell anything, but just try. He is vague in the hopes that you will agree to buy something without knowing what it is, or because you think it may be for a good cause, and if not, then at least he has spent a lot of time working to earn his pay. It's better to be long-winded and vague with ten people a day, and have two people buying products that they thought did something else, than to be brief and clear to a hundred people, and have all of them tell you they won't buy it because they don't need it.

Selling yourself is exactly the same thing (for those who have minds that jump to those sort of thoughts, I'm too lazy to think of a way to say that in such a way that it can't be made to sound like I'm talking about prostitutes. Really, if you like doing that sort of thing (twisting words, I mean – not doing prostitutes), you really will be able to twist anything I say.)

(On a serious side note: What is the correct standing on nested parentheses. The last paragraph was a perfect example. Do the rules of the English language allow them? If not, then why not? Why do I care? Everyone knows I’ll use them if I want (because that’s the sort of person I am).)

Earlier, a man, whom I think was a painter, came in to the shop. I'm quite sure he wasn't a prostitute, since he had overalls, a paintbrush and a roller in a plastic bag. He could have been, but I'm not sure what would have made him think that I'd be into that sort of thing. So I'm going to assume that he wasn't. I think he might have been looking for work, but he wasn't clear. He gave a story about how he'd done jobs here and there. I’m assuming it was painting jobs. He then told me how he had done another job yesterday and was only getting paid tomorrow. I think he was trying to say he’d do a job for me now, and I’d only have to pay later. He carried on, but he was very quiet and secretive about it, so I couldn’t hear what he was talking about. He then opened his plastic bag and showed me his overalls and painting tools.

I don’t need a painter, but even if I did, I would have told him I’m not interested in what he had to offer, just to be safe.
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On Giving Notice


Not leaving a job or anything like that, but about the two weeks notice that Windows XP likes to give you before your password expires. It’s really just a nuisance, but I do understand why this sort of thing would be desirable.

In case you haven’t worked it out yet, it is to give you enough time to think of a new unbreakable password. The fact that most people don’t, and just use a password as predictable as the last is irrelevant and Microsoft cannot change that. All that they can do is give plenty of opportunities to change it.

The reason for including the option to change the password immediately, instead of waiting two weeks for it to expire, is just in case the user thinks of a brilliant unbreakable password. It is quite possible that the user won’t be able to remember this password after 14 days, and so Windows allows the user to change it early. That way, at least if they forget the password, their security won’t be compromised by them using a simpler password. They won’t be able to log in, but that’s not a problem, is it?

On the topic of logging in (actually, more along the lines of logging off), have you noticed how, after installing a new program, as soon as you click on the Start button to log off, an excited message pops up saying “New programs installed! Click here to see them!” It’s a brilliant marketing scam.

(On a side note: Why do you log in, and then log off? Why did they not think when they coined these terms. At least they seem to be changing these days.)
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On Closed Doors Part III


Actually, not on closed doors. I suppose it is, in a way, but the focus is more on doors that open. Particularly doors which open inwards, and have warning signs that read “WARNING: This door opens inwards.”

I’ve always found that particular sign amusing. The reason it is put up is, presumably, to prevent people from opening the door too quickly and injuring themselves. If you think about it, if you are in so much of a hurry that you can’t think for two seconds, and open the door carefully, then when are you going to find the time to read the sign.

My opinion is that the sign was created for the amusement of people like me.
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On Perfect Sound


Sound engineering is quite simple, really. It’s all about getting the volume levels right, and once that’s sorted, you get paid to sit back and relax – which makes it the perfect job for me. A backing vocalist once told me “Someone from the audience said the backing vocals sounded perfect last week, so whatever you did then, do it again this week.” I told her it was no problem. What I didn’t tell her was that her microphone had been going through to the monitors, so she could hear it clearly on the stage, but it was muted from the main speakers, so the audience could only hear the other two backing vocalists. I’ve finally realized why the monitors are so important.
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Monday, August 3, 2009

On Closed Doors Part II


To clear things up, the correct wording for door closed on account of weather is "Door closed on account of the weather" or "Door closed due to the weather". It is important to note that "due to" and "on account of" mean the exactly the same thing, and the statement becomes ambiguous if both terms are included (The ambiguity is explained in more detail here).

It's probably also a good idea to include the phrase "Please come in", or something similar, just to remind people that they may, in fact, enter. It may seem obvious to you, but you must bear in mind that not all people think the same. I personally don't like it when people say something like "Come in, we are open" when quite clearly, the door is closed.

Anyway, I think I'm probably the wrong person to be asking. I only put this here because no one else seems to have answered this question. And if I just wait a couple of days for the Googlebots to find this, and add it to the search engine indices, I'll be the number one authority on this topic in the world.

The internet makes it so easy to become an expert in anything. The world is becoming so pathetic.
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Sunday, August 2, 2009

On the Interception of E-mails


Everyone who uses Gmail notices the advertisements on the side. They are supposedly selected specially for you, based on keywords in your incoming e-mails. The system is obviously not that good, since these adverts hardly ever appeal to me.

There is an easy way to get rid of these adverts. It won’t help you, but it will prevent these adverts from showing up when your friend gets the message. The trick is to make words such as “murder”, “9/11”, “death” etc. the dominant keywords. It seems that Google is worried that some ads may offend certain people...

I don't like plagiarism. Original source is here.

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On Being Smart and and Having Intelligence


The difference is really obvious once you see it, but a lot of people never do. I’m lucky enough to have a bit of both (trying not to sound arrogant). I think you have to be smart to spot the difference. Intelligence plays no part at all.

As a final year student, certain “duties” get dumped on us. One such “duty” is the marking of a test written by the second years. Marking the test, I came across one student who had obviously studied quite hard, and had plenty of intelligence. Unfortunately, he was not very smart. In one part of the paper, he had made one small mistake which cascaded through and lost him most of the marks for that question. For the rest of the paper, he managed to get 90% of the marks.

In the question he got wrong, the paper had asked him to calculate the gravitational force exerted by the Earth on a 100 kilogram body - a rather simple question which he got correct. (The correct answer, for those who have forgotten their high school physic, is 981 N). The trick was that they had to do it from first principles, using Newton’s law of gravitation. The trick was that the Earth’s radius was given in kilometers. It’s amazing how many people accept that you can get a force of several hundred thousand tons on a 100 g body. That’s not smart.

But this particular student was not one of those. He made it to the second part of the question intact. The second part asked for the uncertainty in the answer of the first part, and was worth four times as many marks. This is a simple calculation, but unfortunately one that most don’t understand until they reach third year. The student in question applied the formula correctly, but made one small logic error which led to an answer of about seven billion newtons. He was intelligent, since he could obviously apply the formula, but not smart. If he was smart, he would have realised that this meant the he had no idea what the answer was, even though the number he calculated was no where near to what he should have known was the correct answer.

You can train a chimpanzee to do maths, but it doesn’t help. Numbers are meaningless. It is only the human thought, the human understanding that lies behind it all, that counts.

Look at me. I’m such a hypocrite. When I was in second year, I failed that test.

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On Perseverance


I’ve reached the first landmark I set myself. This is my 100th blog post and it’s taken me 197 days (just over 17 million seconds). I wasn't sure how long I’d be able to keep it up, but it seems that I managed. I’m not sure how it happened, but I’m pretty sure it was only out of pure boredom.



Anyway, thanks to those of you who read what I have to write. My readership is erratic, but I think it’s a miracle any of you remember to come back. You seem to average over 20 a week. Since I like graphs, I’m going to give you one.



And since I’m an engineer, I like discussing graphs, but I’m going to try my best to refrain from discussing this one… I promise I won’t… I’m really fighting the urge… I’m sorry, I really am doing my best…Due to technical issues, the counter was down for most of week 23… I’m sorry. You must understand that this is difficult for me. I'm just disappointed that it's not climbing steadily. (Tell you friends about this blog, and make it famous...)

Admittedly, 30% of those readers are people who know me from university, and another 20% are friends who know me from elsewhere. What impresses me are the 8% who are Americans who find my blog in Google, desperately wanting to know how to get a pig to mate with a sheep, wanting to find out if rabbits can eat chicken, or paranoid that ants are busy eating their houses out from under them. Some of them have even come back. Then you get the ones who want to know if squirrels lay eggs.

Its also interesting to note that 25% of my visitors read more than just the front page. The most popular pages seem to be the ones the ignorant masses seem to enjoy Googling. In other words, those involving the ants, the giant rabbits and the squirrels eggs. I’m not sure why people would want to read these so much, but it’s up to them, I guess.

Anyway, I will hopefully have more nonsense to feed you people about slightly stupid spiders in slippers sliding into stuff while spinning in the snow on slippery slopes. If that’s the sort of thing you like.

Next milestone is 200.

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On ADHD and a Sprained Ankle


I sprained my ankle the Wednesday before last. Often, a sprained ankle can be too painful to walk on for the first 12 hours. Luckily, the incident that caused the injury took place in the evening, so most of those 12 hours were spent asleep. The next morning, I could move around with a limp, and the only thing that I couldn’t manage was making my way down stairs more than one step at a time. On the Friday, my ankle seemed to be fine. A little tender still, but I seemed to be able to move around it completely without any unbearable pain. In my world, that means that it had fully healed.

I should probably point out how I got the injury before I continue. I was sparring at Taekwondo class against someone considerably faster than me, and a bit more experienced. He left an opening just below his ribs on his right, and I went for it side (a deliberate opening, but it was too late when I realized). I threw a turning kick with my left leg as fast as I could, but he was quicker. He mirrored my kick, but much faster, and tried to dodge at the same time. Knowing his balance was not ideal, he threw out his right arm hard to help stay upright. My leg connected with his elbow right below the ankle, and I suddenly realized why Muay Thai fighters consider the elbow to be the most powerful weapon on the body.

It didn’t hurt at all. That was what confused me the most. I felt the impact, but no pain. It was only when I put my foot down that I realized I couldn’t stand. I was carried off the mats, and spent the last 20 minutes of the class massaging my ankle and trying to work out what was wrong with it. It was only a couple hours later that the pain started.

By Friday, I considered it to be healed. Also on Friday, the university had an open sports day, so that all the sports clubs could demonstrate what they had and attract members. (A bit of a pathetic event, since we were one of three clubs who showed up, ready to show off to a crowd of not even ten people). I had promised to demonstrate, and I thought my ankle was fine, so I did. By the time it was over, I had started the whole healing process again. I could barely walk on Friday evening, and was limping for most of Saturday. On Sunday it seemed OK, and on Monday, it fulfilled my criteria for being healed. On Monday, I went to my Taekwondo class again. I stilled considered myself healed, but by the end of the session, I couldn’t walk again. I hope I haven’t caused any permanent damage, because this time, after six days, it doesn’t seem to be getting any better.

The worst part about the whole thing is not that I brought myself pain. It’s my own fault. If I’d just taken it easy for a couple of days, it would have been long since healed. The problem is that I’ve also got attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder. Not formally, mind you, but I’m pretty sure that I was misdiagnosed. I’ve only ever been diagnosed with ADD, without the hyperactive bit, but whenever I’m trying to pay attention to something, I get twitchy. I tap patterns on surfaces, or if none is available, on my legs. If my hands are busy (like they are now), my feet take over. It’s automatic, and I have no way of controlling it. This is a real pain. At work, the chair I sit in is quite high. High enough that my legs don’t touch the ground. My hands are busy typing, and so my leg begins to shake, with my foot hanging loose. This immediately sends a burst of unbearable pain through my ankle. I can’t stop it, and it’s driving me crazy.

I’ve tried hooking my leg around the leg of the chair, but that’s really uncomfortable. I need to move. It needs to be free. I don’t know what to do.

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