Sunday, August 16, 2009

On the Danger of Eating Utensils


My mom used to tell me all the time. Still does, occasionally. “Don’t put your knife in your mouth. You’ll cut your tongue off.” It’s a stupid thing to say. The knife’s barely sharp enough to cut the food, and I’m not stupid enough to run the blade along my tongue. In all my years of eating, I have never injured myself with a knife (at least, not in my mouth).

The fork is a different matter. No one ever warns you about the fork. The knife has a single slightly sharp edge. The fork has four sharp points. It’s far easier to hurt yourself with a fork than with a knife.

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