Monday, August 23, 2010

On the Aphasic Constitution of Stochastically Selected Lexemes

Such as "The panchromatic bumpmap prognosticated the uncircumspectness of the putrefaction." or "A component of the thoroughly edited regulation truly broke the deleted bucket." Makes perfect sense...

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Monday, August 16, 2010

On Parking

I’ve always wondered why some people like reversing into a parking. The standard excuse is that it is “easier to get out.” This is certainly true, but it is also more difficult to get in. The whole system needs to be investigated in terms of the total net increase or decrease of ease that is gained by reversing into a parking.

The entire process can be broken up into two obvious tasks: Entering and exiting. Using a simple scale from one to ten in order to rate the difficulty of the task (with one being really easy and ten being really hard (or for those that require a more precise scale: the scale being a measure of the average between task related brain activity, relevant sensory activity, and muscular activity required to execute the manoeuvre; approximately logarithmic to base e; and scaled and shifted along the axis such that one is equivalent to the difficulty of driving in a straight line at constant speed, and ten is equivalent to a high speed hand-brake turn into a narrow fit parallel parking, including at least two jumps over other vehicles, at least one of which must be carried out without the aid of a ramp)). Rating each task individually and averaging them gives a reliable indicator of the total difficulty of the entire parking process.

Considering an average sized parking with cars on both sides, the difficulty of each task is estimated to be approximately (to the nearest integer) as follows:
• Reversing in: 4
• Driving in: 2
• Driving out: 2
• Reversing out: 3
The primary difference comes in the reversing out compared to reversing in, since reversing into a wide area is easier than reversing into a narrower area (obviously).

The average for both going in and out of the parking is thus:
• Reversing in, driving out : 3
• Driving in, reversing out: 2.5

The argument is therefore invalid in the absence of further reasons.
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Tuesday, August 10, 2010

On a Few Words of Wisdom

For several months now, I have been getting obscure comments on my posts. Those who leave comments (and maybe one or two of you who don’t) may have noticed the introduction of a word verification step (which I must admit, I hate), and then later on, manual comment moderation. No comment appears until I have read it personally. For those wondering why this is necessary, I have been getting comments consisting of some line in Chinese (which sounds as if they are taken directly from fortune cookies), such as “所有的資產， 在不被諒解時， 都成了負債.” Although they are occasionally surprisingly relevant to the post, and almost always give interesting words of wisdom when translated, I never publish them because they are followed by a string of full stops, each one linking to a site with strategically placed words like “chat”, “girl” and “live sex” in the URLs. If only they would leave off the links, I’d publish their comments.

I’m sure this is some sort of plot by the Chinese government to control your minds though, so consider my comment moderation as me protecting you from becoming brainwashed zombies... But, thinking about it, maybe you’re already zombies, so here is a sample of some of the wisdom I have gained. It can’t do too much damage.
• All of the assets, not being understanding, have become liabilities.
• Survival but continued fighting in the heart and soul; writing is sitting the trial itself.
• It is easier to get than to keep it.
• Do not look for lessons from the failure of people, success is far away.
• Happiness is not the key, only the ladder.
• Tired? A cup of coffee, a rest!
• Only endless teacher learning, teaching can be serious, only burn themselves to other people's lights lit.
• Maturity is the ability to adapt to life in the vague.
• Quality is better than quantity.
• As a man sows, so he shall reap.
• Hammer and nails to the same as always work toward fixed.
• Enrichment within the letter of the most important! Beauty is but skin-deep.

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On Driving

Just an observation. Click the image to enlarge it...
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