I don't swear often. In fact, apart from when I'm driving, I practically never swear at all. The main reason for this is not because I have anything against swearwords, but partly due to my mind's insistence on taking certain things literally, and partly due to the fact that I like to avoid using words incorrectly. For example, consider someone who states that their "f**king car" has broken down. Immediately my brain conjures up an image of a car in the process of having sexual intercourse which suddenly stops and (with much clanging, banging and smoke billowing from the engine) falls over sidewards (exhausted perhaps?). The image is more comical than anything else, and fails to convey the (presumed) anger, frustration, hatred or other negative emotion that the original statement was supposed to convey. Most absurd, of course, is the exclamation "F**k me!", to which I can only respond with a shocked "What, right here?"
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